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  • Writer's pictureRache Vaglio

The Power of Forgiveness: Healing and Setting Boundaries



The act of forgiveness can bring peace and healing to those who choose to embrace it. It is the process of letting go of anger, resentment, and the desire for retribution towards someone who has wronged you in some way. 


This act is not just about the other person; it is ultimately  about freeing yourself from the emotional burden that comes with holding onto past hurts.


Understanding Forgiveness


Forgiveness does not mean condoning or excusing harmful behavior. It's essential to distinguish between forgiving someone and approving of their actions. When you forgive, you acknowledge the wrongdoing but choose to release the negative emotions tied to it. This decision can lead to several personal benefits:


1. Emotional Freedom


 Letting go of grudges and resentment can reduce stress and improve emotional well-being.


2. Improved Relationships 


Forgiveness can mend and strengthen relationships, even if it means reestablishing them on new terms.


3. Physical Health Benefits


 Studies have shown that forgiveness can lead to better physical health, including lower blood pressure and improved heart health.


4.Enhanced Mental Health


 It can reduce symptoms of depression, anxiety, and other mental health issues.



Forgiveness vs. Condoning


It's crucial to understand that forgiveness is not the same as condoning or justifying harmful behavior. Condoning implies that you see the wrong actions as acceptable or excusable, which can lead to enabling negative behavior. Forgiveness, on the other hand, is about acknowledging the harm done but choosing to move forward without harboring ill will.


Setting Boundaries


Forgiving someone doesn't necessarily mean allowing them back into your life in the same capacity. Setting boundaries is a critical aspect of maintaining your well-being and protecting yourself from further harm. Here are some steps to consider when setting boundaries after forgiving:


1.Assess the Relationship


 Determine whether the relationship is healthy and whether it should continue as it is. Consider the individual's willingness to change and respect your boundaries.


2. Communicate Clearly 


 If you choose to maintain a relationship, communicate your boundaries clearly and assertively. Let the person know what behaviors are acceptable and what are not.

 

3.Stick to Your Boundaries


 It's essential to enforce the boundaries you've set. This consistency helps to reinforce your limits and shows that you value your well-being.


4.Consider Distance


  Sometimes, maintaining distance is necessary for your peace of mind. This distance can be temporary or permanent, depending on the nature of the relationship and the harm caused .


5. Seek Support


  Forgiving and setting boundaries can be challenging, especially with close relationships. Seeking support from friends, family, or a therapist can provide valuable perspective and guidance.


The Journey to Forgiveness


Forgiveness is a personal journey and often a challenging one. It requires time, introspection, and sometimes professional help. The act of forgiving is not a one-time event but a process that may require revisiting as new emotions and situations arise. However, the benefits of forgiveness—emotional release, improved relationships, and personal growth—make it a worthwhile pursuit.


Forgiveness is a powerful tool for healing and personal growth. It allows you to release negative emotions and set boundaries that protect your well-being. Remember, forgiving someone is not.


Feel free to email me with questions, comments , and suggestions.


Find this topic and more on my Friendship Wellness and Wisdom podcast



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